I admit it; I enjoyed watching Sex and the City when it was on HBO. It was an entertaining show, often both hilarious and heartbreaking, and it was a fun way to escape into a fantasy world where I could live in one of those swanky Manhattan apartments, afford those ridiculous shoes, find a date with the snap of my fingers, and have a group of fiercely loyal gal pals. And yet, I have no desire to see the movie when it opens this spring.

Why? Because the show ended so neatly. Each character’s story arc came to a definitive close and was tied up with a neat little bow. I watched as Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte grew and evolved and all settled down into their versions of ‘happily ever after’. There’s a reason fairy tales end after the happy ending; because after ‘happily ever after’, it’s boring!

One of my favorite parts of the television series was the endless string of losers the girls would date. Some of my personal favorites were Charlotte’s ‘likes to get into fights guy’, Miranda’s ‘overeater’, and Samantha’s ‘other Sam Jones’. But at the end of the series, each one of them settled down (in various ways) with their chosen guy. Where’s the fun in that? What is Sex and the City without Carrie and Mr. Big’s ‘will they or won’t they’ relationship? Or without Charlotte “The Rules” York single-handedly setting the women’s movement backwards with her constant mantra of “get married, make babies, get married, make babies, get married, make babies”? Or without Miranda keeping everyone at a distance with her snarkiness and quick temper? And let’s face it; if Samantha isn’t treating her vagina like the drive-thru at McDonald’s, she’s just not being the Samantha we all love/hate.

So unlike many other Sex and the City fans, I will not be at the theater opening night, wearing an “I’m a Carrie” t-shirt, and I’ll instead wait to RENT IT. It was an entertaining television show, not a lifestyle to mimic, and it ended, quite nicely, several years ago. Now if HBO ever gets its act together and makes a Deadwood movie, I’ll be all over that. There isn’t anything neat and pretty about the way they left those fans dangling.

Sex and the City: the Movie is not yet rated and opens May 30. (IMDB page)

John Cusack has certainly had a busy year: first he starred in 1408, and now he has two more films coming out before the end of the year. Not bad for a guy who once paid a dollar to see Molly Ringwald’s panties.

Out first is Grace is Gone, which has already played at most of the big film festivals, and met with mixed reviews (the consensus is that Cusack is great, but the film itself is lacking). Cusack (looking a lot older and frumpier than usual), is Stanley, whose wife, Grace, is killed in Iraq. Not knowing how to tell his two young daughters that their mother is never coming home, he takes them on an impromptu road trip, declaring it’s time they had some fun in their lives. Included in the trailer are scenes of Stanley being unable to accept that Grace is gone (so that’s where that title came from!), longing looks at his daughters who he just “doesn’t know how to talk to”, and yearning phone calls to Grace via their home answering machine, where her voice is recorded as the outgoing message. While I have no doubt that this movie is heartbreaking, and heaven knows the subject matter alone makes me misty-eyed, it seems like the tear-jerking moments may be a bit forced and heavy-handed.

And speaking of forced tear-jerking moments, Cusack’s other film is Martian Child. This time he’s a science fiction writer who adopts a little boy who lives inside a cardboard box and believes he is from Mars. See, Cusack writes about Martians, and the kid thinks he is one, so they’re a perfect fit! I was under the impression that the American adoption system was a little more complicated than that, but I’ll suspend my disbelief enough to go with it. But I’m having trouble suspending my disbelief enough to accept the overdone plot conflict where the adoption counselor pays a visit at a comedic inopportune time, and then threatens to take the child away for fear of his welfare. Cue the swelling music and a heartfelt plea from the adoptive parent that “I’m the only one who understands him!” Yawn.

For Grace is Gone, I’ll probably RENT IT, because I know I’ll cry, and I like to save those moments for my living room. But Martian Child will be a SKIP IT for me, despite the charm of John Cusack and his lovably daffy sister, Joan (who, as she often does in John’s movies, makes an appearance).

Grace is Gone is not yet rated and opens in limited release October 5. (Official site)

Martian Child is rated PG and opens October 26. (Official site)

In the latest “was this sequel really necessary” news, the teaser for Harold & Kumar 2 is now available. For their second adventure, the stoner duo branch out from a trip to White Castle to a trip to Europe (presumably to Amsterdam). But things go awry when Kumar is suspected of being a terrorist for having the audacity to be on an airplane while not being white.

Are white people overreacting to brown people really a viable foundation for what’s meant to be a stoner comedy? I’m not really convinced, but I found the first Harold and Kumar movie amusing, so I’ll probably RENT IT, or more likely, wait for it to come onto HBO. Neil Patrick Harris does reprise his role as a hyper-asshole version of himself, which in my opinion was the funniest part of the first movie. The image of Doogie Howser doing lines of blow off a stripper’s ass is permanently burned into my brain (whether that’s a good thing or not, I’m not sure).

Harold & Kumar 2 is not yet rated (it’ll probably be R) and opens some time in 2008.

After attending an advance screening of Hairspray last night, several words came to mind: campy, silly, frivolous, and unrealistic. And I loved every second of it. The story was quick-moving, there was never a lull. The songs were catchy, upbeat, and fun. The actors were perfectly cast for their individual roles, yet they still shone as an ensemble. The campiness was played to perfection; it was very careful to never cross the line from delightful to total cheesiness. And as for John Travolta’s fat drag suit…I couldn’t decide if it was hilarious or disturbing, so I’ll settle for describing it as hilariously disturbing.

As I predicted in my review of the trailer, this one is a SEE IT. So once you’re tired of watching Camaro’s turning into robots, evil wizards getting vanquished, and Bruce Willis being old, go check out Hairspray. If you don’t leave the theater tapping your feet with a smile on your face, check your pulse. You might be dead.

Ya know, I suppose I might have been interested in this movie, but the trailer totally turned me off. Mostly, it was the blatent, pathetic attempt to leech off the success of Lord of the Rings. That kind of ploy only makes me think that this movie isn’t strong enough to hold up on its own. I’m personally going to SKIP IT.

The Golden Compass is not yet rated and doesn’t open until December 7. (Official Site)

I wrote a really negative post about the teaser for Rush Hour 3 a while back. It was honestly one of the worst trailers I’ve ever seen for a Hollywood blockbuster. But the full trailer just came out, so I figured I’d give these guys one last chance to redeem themselves.

Take a look and tell me what you think.

Personally, I think it’s an improvement from the teaser, but not by much. There are a couple of funny parts, but not enough to make me run out and buy a ticket. Mostly, it just makes me wish these guys had stopped at two. But unfortunately, Hollywood doesn’t understand the idea of going out with a bang. If there’s money to be made, they have to squeeze every last drop out of it. And if you don’t believe me, just wait till Spider-Man 7 comes out.

I really did think Rush Hour 2 was a great movie, so I’m inclined to see this thing despite the bad trailers. On the other hand, I just got back from watching Spider-Man 3 and I think I’ve learned my lesson. I’m gonna have to say RENT IT. Sorry guys, but you’re gonna have to try a little harder if you expect to get my hard earned $11.

Rush Hour 3 is not yet rated and opens August 10. (Official Site)

I should preface this review by saying that I love musicals, both on the screen and on the stage. I love the old school classics like The Sound of Music and West Side Story. I even love the old school cheesefests like Oklahoma! and The Music Man. So naturally I have been reveling gleefully in the recent resurgence of the movie musical; from the masterfully done Moulin Rouge and Chicago, to the admittedly flawed Phantom of the Opera and Rent. And this summer I’m looking forward to getting my theater-geekiness on with Hairspray.

I have yet to see the Tony-award winning stage production of Hairspray that the film is based on (I said I loved musicals, I didn’t say I was made of money). But I’ve heard nothing but good things about it and the trailer makes the film look like a ton of fun. It’s the 1960’s in Baltimore and teenager Tracy Turnblad is on a quest to fulfill her dream of being a featured dancer on The Corny Collins Show (an American Bandstand imitation, complete with mini skirts and bouffant hairdos). But Tracy isn’t the ideal choice for the show; she’s overweight, and you can just imagine how a group of teenage television starlets respond to that. In her pursuit of her right to shake her tail feather, Tracy finds herself not only fighting for the acceptance of the zaftig, but also fighting for racial integration in Baltimore.

New Line Cinema decided to go the Dreamgirls route and held open auditions for the role of Tracy. Nikki Blonsky, formerly employed at an ice cream parlor, is the lucky winner, and it looks like she has just the right blend of sweet, sassy, and singing pipes to play Tracy. The rest of the cast is made up of some interesting characters; Michelle Pfeiffer as the bitchy blonde mother of Tracy’s nemesis, Christopher Walken as Tracy’s joke shop owning dad, and John Travolta not only in drag, but fat drag, as Tracy’s housefrau mother.

Naturally, I’m going to SEE IT and recommend that everyone else does, too. A little cheesy musical goodness never hurt anyone.

Hairspray is rated PG and opens July 20. (Official site)

See, we look out for you. Vanity Fair is presenting free screenings of Fracture tonight in cities across the country. To RSVP, click here.

This trailer just dropped, and I’m pretty excited.

I finally got a chance to see Half Nelson, and I was seriously blown away. This Gosling kid can act. And the chance to see him going head to head with Anthony Hopkins makes my mouth water. Plus, the actual storyline doesn’t seem too shabby either.

Anyways, check out the trailer. I don’t think this movie is going to have too much difficulty finding an audience.

Fracture is not yet rated and opens April 20. (Official Site)