I must be getting hard up from some decent movie releases, because I actually find myself drawn to this trailer for an animated children’s movie. Granted, it looks like it’s slightly edgier than your average kid’s movie, but still…

Igor tells the story of, well, Igor, the fabled hunchbacked lab assistant from the various Frankenstein movies. Turns out, there are many mad scientists out there, each with their own personal Igor who they belittle and abuse. One Igor in particular (voiced by the amiable John Cusack) is tired of being treated so poorly, and decides to break out of his mold and try his own hand at inventing something that will win him the annual evil science fair. Throw in a couple of kooky sidekicks, and you have one irreverent “triumphing against all odds” movie.

While I doubt Igor will be worth an $11 movie ticket (it ain’t Pixar, after all), I’ll probably eventually RENT IT.

Igor is not yet rated and opens September 19. (Official site)

Thanks to a tip from Vulture, I’ve been playing around on the Simpsons Movie website, where you can create your very own Simpsons character! It’s entirely too much fun, and I’m quite happy with my own Simpsonification, at left.

(UPDATE: To save your character, hit ‘print screen’ and then paste it into a blank PowerPoint. Crop the image, and then right click on it and save it as a picture. Then you’ll have your own nifty jpeg that you can email to jealous friends.)

Oh and of course, we are going to run and SEE IT when The Simpsons Movie finally comes out on July 27.

Up until last summer, I was the ultimate Pixar fangirl. Monsters, Inc., Finding Nemo, and The Incredibles were all amazing films. Those movies had everything you could want from a family film: the animation was incredible, the voice actors were perfectly cast, the stories were clever and unique, they taught useful lessons without being heavy-handed and preachy, and there was something for both kids and adults in all of them. Then last summer came Cars, which I was pretty disappointed with. Owen Wilson as the lead voice? Has anyone at Pixar actually heard him talk for an extended amount of time? All the characters are vehicles? There’s only so many ways you can move a vehicle, even in the world of animation. After you’ve exhausted that limited inventory, they’re pretty boring to watch. And don’t even get me started on the trite story or the laughable love scenes between the two lead cars.

This summer, Pixar offers Ratatouille; the story of a rat who lives in France and dreams of being a famous French chef. Only problem is, well, that whole being a rat thing. So he befriends a talentless kitchen worker and they have a sort of Cyrano de Bergerac relationship; with the rat as the mastermind behind their creations and the worker acting as the front man. I guess the moral is supposed to be something along the lines of, “Do whatever you must to make your dreams come true,” but seriously? A rat? Cooking? In France? This seems far-fetched, even for a cartoon. And I don’t know anyone who wants to think about a rat being anywhere near their food. It seems even the studio is a little skeptical on how well this movie will do in theaters since they’re offering a nine-minute sneak peek on Disney’s website.

I’m going to RENT IT and pray that Pixar gets its mojo back soon. They have Toy Story 3 in the works now for a 2009 release, and if it’s anywhere near how good the first two were, there’s hope for them yet.

Ratatouille is rated G and opens June 29. (Official site)

The trailer’s kinda cute, but I’m currently feeling a bit of animation overload. Plus, it wasn’t made by Pixar or Disney, which automatically makes me doubt how good it’ll be. I’m afraid I’m gonna have to SKIP IT.

Surf’s Up is rated PG and opens June 8. (Official Site)

There are few things in this world as magical as a Disney fairy tale. Everyone has their favorite; from the old-school classics like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty to the newer gems like Aladdin and Beauty and the Beast. In recent years Disney has taken a detour from their traditional route in their partnership with Pixar, and while that pairing has created some great films (Monsters, Inc. and The Incredibles), there’s still nothing quite like a Disney fairy tale. As far as I can tell, Mulan is the last fairy tale they created, and that was in 1998 (and Mulan is based on a Chinese folktale, so does it even count as a ‘fairy tale’?). And no, I’m not counting any of those half-assed straight to video sequels that have been created.

With Enchanted, it looks like Disney is trying to get back to its roots…but with a twist. We start out in a magical animated land with all the fairy tale basics: beautiful princess, handsome prince, cute woodland creatures, and an evil queen determined to wreak havoc on everyone’s happiness. And by “wreak havoc” I mean “toss the beautiful princess into the reality of modern-day Manhattan.” The lovely Princess Giselle suddenly finds herself a little less two-dimensional as she goes from a cartoon to a real person, played by Amy Adams, who must find her way back home and try to survive in a city that has no need for princesses.

Fortunately for her, her true love, Prince Edward, has followed her into reality and is determined to find and rescue her. Unfortunately for him, a city that has no need for princesses is even less accepting of a weird guy in tights who brandishes a sword and randomly bursts into song. It also looks like he may have some competition for Giselle’s affection, as she has befriended a “real” man, played by the McDreamy Patrick Dempsey (that’s right, I watch Grey’s Anatomy, don’t judge me). And of course the evil queen, played by Susan Sarandon, is going to see to it that their journey back to magical animated land isn’t an easy one.

At first I was tempted to give Enchanted a ‘rent it’ review (I’m over the age of 12 and have no children, so I’m not exactly their key audience), but who am I kidding? I know I’m going to go SEE IT. I love all the Disney classics and this looks like it could be a hilarious update of the traditional fairy tale. It certainly has piqued my interest more than Stardust has, and this New Yorker needs the occasional dose of magic to keep her from becoming too cynical and jaded.

Enchanted is not yet rated and opens November 21. (Official site)

The trailer for The Simpsons Movie is nearly impossible to review for two reasons:

1. The creators are being very careful to not leak any major information about the plot in any of their advertising. The biggest reveal comes from the official movie website: “Homer must save the world from a catastrophe that he himself created.” Ah, it’s all so much clearer now. Thanks, guys!

2. There’s really no way I can convince you to go SEE IT. If you’re a fan of The Simpsons, you already know you’re going to SEE IT. And if you don’t watch the TV show, you already know you’re going to skip it since the movie is certain to be full of inside jokes that only fans of the show will get (the trailer already makes mention of not knowing what state the Simpsons live in and Mr. Burns’ penchant for releasing the hounds).

So rather than trying to convince you to SEE IT, SEE IT, SEE IT (because I can’t), here are some of my favorite quotes from The Simpsons.

“Me fail English? That’s unpossible!” Ralph Wiggum

“You know me, Marge. I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals fuh-laming!” Homer Simpson

“I am so smart, I am so smart. S-M-R-T…I mean, S-M-A-R-T.” Homer Simpson

“It’s like I’m wearing nothing at all…nothing at all…nothing at all”
“Stupid, sexy Flanders.” Ned Flanders and Homer Simpson

“Dental plan!” Lenny

“Duff beer for me, Duff beer for you, you have a Duff, I’ll have one, too!” creepy animatronic children at Duff Gardens

“Mr. Plow, that’s my name. That name again is Mr. Plow.” Homer’s Mr. Plow jingle

“You look worse than Aunt Patty in the morning. And there ain’t nothing worse than Aunt Patty in the morning!” Lisa Simpson

“Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace ‘accidentally’ with ‘repeatedly,’ and replace ‘dog’ with ’son.’” Lionel Hutz

“Ow, my eye! I’m not supposed to get pudding in it!” Lenny

“That guy impressed me, and I’m not easily impressed. Oh my god, a BLUE CAR!” Homer Simpson

The Simpsons Movie is not yet rated and opens July 27. (Official site)

The Aqua Teen Hunger Force is FINALLY coming to the big screen! Matt Maiellaro & Dave Willis’s lovable tribute to lethargy, drug abuse, and plain old punky attitude is opening on Friday and I couldn’t be more excited.

If you’ve never seen the Aqua Teen Hunger Force, you’ve probably heard of it by now. Unless you don’t keep abreast of current events, it’d be nearly impossible for you to have missed the recent bomb scare in Boston that was caused by its marketing team placing Lite-Brite-like boxes all over the city.

Regardless, it’s an adult cartoon that airs on the Cartoon Network during their Adult Swim program. The show revolves around a cracked out superhero group that consists of “Meatwad”, who can transform into three objects (a wad of meat, an igloo, and a hot dog – although he has been known to morph into other shapes when on drugs), a waddling cup called “Master Shake”, and a levitating box of French fries known as “Frylock”. Many of their adventures take place in and around their New Jersey abode, and they always feature ridiculous situations that can only be described as pee-your-pants hilarious.

The movie will surely be no different. A brief synopsis on IMDB describes the plot as “an action epic that explores the origins of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force who somehow become pitted in a battle over an immortal piece of exercise equipment.”

Wow.

How anyone can turn away from that, I’ll never know.

But since I love playing the devil’s advocate, let’s say you can. How about a flaming chicken? Is that enough for you? What if I told you Bruce Campbell is its voice? Still not sold? Well, brace yourself cause Chris Kattan is in it too!

Ok, so there’s not a whole lot of star power behind it…but who cares!?! It’s going to be amazing, so make sure you SEE IT.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters is rated R and opens on April 13th.

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Oscar season is always a little bitter-sweet. On the sweet side, you get a plethora of great movies that all get released at the same time in order to grab the attention of the Oscar voters. However, on the bitter side, you know that once the Oscar nominees are chosen, there’s going to be a long dry spell, when nothing but crap will be released for a good two or three months.

As with real life, it seems that the film industry has seasons of its own, and unfortunately Oscar season is always followed by a very long and frigid winter.

As I’ve noticed by the current slate of movies coming out in the next few weeks, that frigid winter has already begun. Watching the trailers for movies like Home of the Brave and Alpha Dog, I find myself daydreaming about death and I shiver at the thought of enduring another barren winter of ice-cold movies.

But then, unexpectedly, I see a ray of hope peaking through the clouds. Just the other day, as I sat there in the movie theater, waiting for the start of Blood Diamond (excellent, by the way), I was pleasantly surprised by the long string of really awesome movie trailers flashing before my eyes. Movies like Zodiac, David Fincher’s long awaited new movie about two reporters (Jake Gyllenhaal and Mark Ruffalo) who help a detective (Robert Downey Jr.) track down a serial killer. Even if the movie didn’t look as amazing as it does, I’d still see it just for those three actors alone. Or Wild Hogs, about four middle-aged friends (John Travolta, Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence, and William H. Macy), who decide to spice up their boring lives by buying motorcycles and setting out on a cross-country trip. I think I’m just intrigued by the combination of those four actors in a movie together. Or The Reaping, about a modern day recurrence of the Ten Plagues, starring Hilary Swank. How great of an idea is it to play out all ten plagues on the big screen, using modern movie making technology and no Charlton Heston?

And that’s when I realized that even in our darkest movie-watching moments, there is still hope. Somewhere, somehow, Hollywood still finds a way to crank out some good movies, and those movies always, miraculously, find their way to a theater near you. So don’t despair, my friends. This winter of bad movies is only temporary, and soon the flowers of better cinema will bloom once more.

That’s why, in the spirit of keeping that hope alive, I thought I’d share with you this Teaser for the long anticipated The Simpsons Movie. I’ll spare you the description or analysis on this one. If you’re not already excited about The Simpsons Movie, you might want to check your pulse. And needless to say, my advice is to SEE IT.

The Simpsons Movie is not yet rated and unfortunately doesn’t open until July 27. (Official Site)

· Click: I’ve seen different versions of this trailer several times and I’m still not tired of it. Adam Sandler has a universal remote that truly controls his universe. The movie looks really funny, while also being touching and thought provoking. See it.

· The Break-Up: Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughan stick to their established on-screen personas and pretty much play themselves. While the movie looks mildly amusing, it also looks like two hours of fighting, which I hate. Plus advance buzz has been terrible. Skip it.

· X-Men: The Last Stand: Much to my own surprise, I saw both X-Men movies in cinemas and thoroughly enjoyed them. I really want Wolverine and Famke Janssen to find true love. I want the mutants to not be subdued. I want to see Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Rebecca Romijn, Kelsey Grammer and Ben Foster and the rest of the mutant gang. See it.

· Over the Hedge: In this animated film from Dreamworks, backyard critters plot to invade the suburban fridge. Parents who are dragged to all animated movies probably won’t mind this one. The cast includes everyone from Bruce Willis to Steve Carell to Wanda Sykes. If reviews are amazing, I might rent it.