I would hope that even the most die-hard Woody Allen fan would admit that the man’s work is either hit or miss. When he’s on, he’s on fire. When he’s off, you get The Curse of the Jade Scorpion. I can’t quite get a handle on which end of the spectrum Vicky Cristina Barcelona will fall, since the trailer really doesn’t give anything away. No, really…there’s not even any dialogue in it.

From what I can cobble together based on the snapshots in the trailer and my own reading about the film, Javier Bardem (looking far less terrifying than the last time I saw him) is a Spanish artist who gets it on with a lot of women. He’s sleeping with two American tourists (one played by Allen’s new favorite ingénue, Scarlett Johansson) and also has a jealous ex (Penelope Cruz) tracking him down. And there’s lots and lots of sex.

The trailer shows little more than short clips of some steamy love scenes all set to a Spanish song, with any dialogue from the movie removed. I would think they would want to market a Woody Allen film as something more than a sensationalized adult film, but what do I know? Well, I do know this: as for this particular Allen film, I’m going to SKIP IT. If it turns out to be his next Annie Hall, I’m sure someone will tell me.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona is rated R and opens in limited release August 29. (Official site)

I have yet to read the novel that The Other Boleyn Girl is based on, but that doesn’t deter from my interest in this trailer. I’m kind of a sucker for period pieces, so showing me images of actors in gowns and ruffled collars piques my interest. Then showing me an alternate look at a major time in history, and I’m pretty much sold.

The Other Boleyn Girl tells the tale of the two Boleyn sisters who wind up competing for the affection of King Henry VIII. Anne, the sister we all learned about in history class, is promised to the king. But then his head is turned when he meets her equally as beguiling sister, Mary. The girls are pitted against each other as rivals, and things go from bad to worse when Anne has problems conceiving a child and must turn to Mary to help her. Because we all know how well Anne’s fertility problems went over with Henry (hint: not well at all).

Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson are the Boleyn sisters, and they look as much like natural sisters as Gwyneth Paltrow and myself. But I have no doubt that their performances will detract the audiences focus from this. Eric Bana is King Henry, and hopefully I’ll finally be able to figure out what it is about him that so many other women find so swoon-worthy when I go to SEE IT.

The Other Boleyn Girl is not yet rated and opens February 29. (Official site)

In The Nanny Diaries, Scarlett Johansson plays Nanny, a character eager to begin her life as a nanny to a wealthy Manhattan family, the Xs, played by Laura Linney (who I’m not sure is mean enough for the role of Mrs. X) and Paul Giamatti (who is completely absent from the trailer). She gets all the luxuries of playing house on the Upper East Side, without the responsibility of having to pay for the lifestyle. It’s all very The Devil Wears Prada meets Mary Poppins (minus the singing chimneysweeps). What’s not to love?

Well, a lot, apparently. The parents of her young charge are never around, she is constantly humiliated in front of the could-he-be-any-cuter boy who lives in the same building, Mrs. X tells her to her face that she isn’t good enough for said boy, and she is being spied on through a nanny-cam installed in a teddy bear. What is Nanny to do? She can’t quit, or so she says, for she has grown to love the little boy she cares for and she won’t leave him with parents who seem to have forgotten he even exists.

The Nanny Diaries is based on the 2002 best-selling novel of the same name. I have read the novel, so it’s impossible for me to watch this trailer and not make comparisons to the book. The book was written as a comedy-drama that often focuses on how absentee parents can affect a child’s development. The film, on the other hand, is being billed as strictly a comedy. Oh, those wacky rich folks! They’re just so busy being fabulous that Nanny gets into all sorts of wacky hijinx while caring for their son. But wait…are neglectful parents something to laugh at? Is a twenty-something girl unwittingly thrust into the role of “mother” really that funny?

Since I love to see films based on books I’ve read and play the compare/contrast game, I’ll see this one, but I’ll wait to RENT IT with my boyfriend (you may know him as Netflix).

The Nanny Diaries is rated PG-13 and opens on April 20. (Official Site)

UPDATE: The new release date for The Nanny Diaries is September 7, 2007.

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I have a confession to make: the only Woody Allen movie I’ve seen is Annie Hall, and my reaction was, “that’s it?” I prefer light comedies, and Allen’s new comedy with Scarlett Johansson, Hugh Jackman, and Ian McShane fits the bill. In Scoop, Johansson plays a journalism student who receives the scoop of the century from the Ian McShane’s ghostly character. She pursues Jackman, who may or may not be the Tarot Card Killer, and romance and hijinks ensue. In true narcissistic fashion, Woody Allen gets first billing and plays Johansson’s father, which is more than a little creepy given his real-life crush on her. Nevertheless, any movie that has hijinks, mystery, romance, and a shirtless Hugh Jackman works for me, so I’m going to Rent It.

(In the interest of full disclosure, Scoop is running an ad campaign on the site where I have a paying gig in ad sales. But I still want to Rent It. In fact, it’s already on my queue.)

Scoop is rated PG-13 and opens Friday, July 28.

Official Site