I admit it; I enjoyed watching Sex and the City when it was on HBO. It was an entertaining show, often both hilarious and heartbreaking, and it was a fun way to escape into a fantasy world where I could live in one of those swanky Manhattan apartments, afford those ridiculous shoes, find a date with the snap of my fingers, and have a group of fiercely loyal gal pals. And yet, I have no desire to see the movie when it opens this spring.

Why? Because the show ended so neatly. Each character’s story arc came to a definitive close and was tied up with a neat little bow. I watched as Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte grew and evolved and all settled down into their versions of ‘happily ever after’. There’s a reason fairy tales end after the happy ending; because after ‘happily ever after’, it’s boring!

One of my favorite parts of the television series was the endless string of losers the girls would date. Some of my personal favorites were Charlotte’s ‘likes to get into fights guy’, Miranda’s ‘overeater’, and Samantha’s ‘other Sam Jones’. But at the end of the series, each one of them settled down (in various ways) with their chosen guy. Where’s the fun in that? What is Sex and the City without Carrie and Mr. Big’s ‘will they or won’t they’ relationship? Or without Charlotte “The Rules” York single-handedly setting the women’s movement backwards with her constant mantra of “get married, make babies, get married, make babies, get married, make babies”? Or without Miranda keeping everyone at a distance with her snarkiness and quick temper? And let’s face it; if Samantha isn’t treating her vagina like the drive-thru at McDonald’s, she’s just not being the Samantha we all love/hate.

So unlike many other Sex and the City fans, I will not be at the theater opening night, wearing an “I’m a Carrie” t-shirt, and I’ll instead wait to RENT IT. It was an entertaining television show, not a lifestyle to mimic, and it ended, quite nicely, several years ago. Now if HBO ever gets its act together and makes a Deadwood movie, I’ll be all over that. There isn’t anything neat and pretty about the way they left those fans dangling.

Sex and the City: the Movie is not yet rated and opens May 30. (IMDB page)