Everybody loves a lovable loser, right? Then you’re probably going to adore Bill. Bill is middle-aged, overweight, suffering from a permanent bad hair day, working at a job he hates, and married to a woman who’s cheating on him with the douchebag local news reporter. But Bill has potential, and all he needs is a wise-beyond-his-years teenager to help him get his life together.

Which is exactly what Bill gets when he becomes a reluctant mentor to a prep school kid. His new teen buddy helps him shed some pounds, get a better ‘do, come into his own at work, and win back his wife by making her jealous with the omnipresent Jessica Alba. The story seems sort of weak, but the cast does intrigue me. Aaron Eckhart is Bill (and I hope is wearing a prosthetic belly), Elizabeth Banks is his cheating spouse, Timothy Olyphant is her new paramour, and Jessica Alba is…some pretty girl Bill likes (aka, the Alba standard role). Nothing groundbreaking going on here, but it looks entertaining enough for me to eventually RENT IT.

Meet Bill is rated R and opens April 4. (Official site)

I realize that it’s cliche by now to make fun of the asinine behavior of Hollywood, but oh well…

My latest complaint is this Hollywood theory that if something is a success once, they have to do it over and over again, ad nauseum. The first Survivor was a hit, and now every show on my television set is a reality show. Carrie was successful, and I don’t think that there’s been a Stephen King book since that hasn’t been made into a movie. Dark Angel was a popular TV show, and now every movie in theaters is starring Jessica Alba…

And now the latest addition to this trend is this slew of Japanese horror remakes.

Granted, I’m not a big horror fan, so maybe that explains my lack of understanding on this matter, but is it really necessary to remake every horror movie that Japan produces? I mean, how many times can people see a Japanese kid with a white face before they stop being scared by it?

That said, I have to admit that this trailer for The Eye did give me a bit of a chill. And it is sort of a cool Hitchcockian sort of premise that a woman would get an eye-implant and suddenly be able to see into a supernatural world. But alas, I’m just not a big enough horror fan to sign up for this one. Even if it does seem to be the first Japanese horror remake that isn’t completely dominated by white-faced Japanese kids.

No, I’m afraid that The Eye is going to be a SKIP IT for me. On the other hand, if you’re a huge horror fan, you might as well check it out. Either that, or wait until they come out with Halloween 27 or Freddy vs. Jason 12. Gotta love Hollywood…

The Eye is rated R and opens February 1. (Official Site)

As soon as I finished watching this trailer for Awake, about five different questions popped into my head simultaneously. And since I’m not sure which one is more important, I’ll just list all of them and let you guys decide:

1) Why hasn’t Hayden Christensen done more movies in the past couple years?
2) How exactly do you make a movie about a guy under anesthesia?
3) Why would you want to make a movie about a guy under anesthesia?
4) How is Jessica Alba able to star in fifty movies a year?
5) Why the hell aren’t there any good movies anymore?

I’m not sure what the answer is to most of these questions, but I’m pretty sure at least one answer has to do with the Star Wars prequels and another has something to do with Oscar season. But I guess the more pertinent questions for this post are #2 and #3.

Now, I get the drama involved in watching a person discovering that nothing about is life is as he thought it was, and that there are people trying to kill him and all that. But the fun of that kind of movie comes when the protagonist gets to act on what he’s learned and take revenge on the people who’ve wronged him. But how the hell do you take action when you’re laying on a hospital bed, trapped in an anesthetic paralysis?

My feeling about this movie is that this is one of those stories ripped from the headlines that probably should have stayed in the headlines. Yeah, it’s incredibly freaky that 1 in 700 people remain conscious while they’re under anesthesia, but you can’t really make a movie about that. Movies about action, and it’s hard to have any action when the main character can’t move during the majority of the film.

Unless I hear that this movie is the next Sixth Sense, with some sort of unbelievable twist at the end, I’m afraid I’m going to have to SKIP IT. And the saddest part is that I think Hayden Christensen is a far more talented actor than those Star Wars flicks revealed (have you seen Life As a House?), but this movie doesn’t look like the right vehicle to try to reawaken his career with. My guess is that it’ll just put it to bed for good.

Awake is rated R and opens February 26. (IMDB page)

If you haven’t noticed by now, I’m a complete sucker for redband trailers. The original trailer for Good Luck Chuck hit the internet a while back, and I was perfectly content to let it slip by, mainly because I was far more interested in the other Chuck movie (I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry).

But then they had to go and release this r-rated red band trailer, and suddenly I have no choice but to help them promote their movie.

To their credit, the red band does make the movie look pretty funny. However, I’m still not completely sold on this thing. My main concern is that I’m just not sure Dane Cook is quite ready to carry his own film. I loved Dane Cook when he was a young comedian starting out, but then he blew up in about two seconds and now even more suddenly, he’s green-lighting his own movies. It’s just all happening a little too quickly for a country boy like me.

I’m definitely going to RENT IT, because the plot-line is fairly original, and it does look like there will be some genuine laughs. But Mr. Cook needs to pay his dues a bit more before he can expect to relieve me of my hard-earned $11.

Good Luck Chuck is not yet rated and opens on September 21. (Official Site)

OK, folks. I have no idea where this movie came from, and I have no idea how all these great actors ended up in this thing, but I don’t really care. This trailer is hillarious, and I can’t wait to SEE IT.

Not only does The Ten have a lot of my favorite actors in it; it’s also from the creators of The State. For those of you who don’t remember The State, it was a ’90s sketch comedy show on MTV. The State was funny, unique and totally under-appreciated, and most importantly, it immortalized the phrase “I wanna dip my balls in it!!”

This film would probably fly under the radar if not for this great trailer. Hopefully as this trailer makes its way around the internet, a lot more people will decide to join me in the theater. It looks like it’s gonna be a fun time.

The Ten is rated R and opens August 3. (Official Site)

This movie looks like it’s going to be awesome. I love everything about the silver surfer: the premise, the look, the indestructability… I wasn’t the biggest fan of the first movie, but the sequel looks much better. I am definitely going to SEE IT.

Rise of the Silver Surfer is not yet rated and opens June 15. (Official Site)