This trailer just dropped today, and the first thought that came to my mind was “Why?!”

Are there really people out there that are just dying to see Alvin and the Chipmunks up on the big screen? And I get it that this is a kid’s movie, but Alvin and the Chipmunks have been absent from the television screen for decades. Plus, did you see these little CGI chipmunks? They’re not cute; they’re creepy. And Alvin eats a turd, for christ sake. How is that funny?

I am definitely going to SKIP IT, so I guess it doesn’t matter. I’m just wondering what Jason Lee is thinking. This is how he leverages his My Name is Earl success? He’s on top right now. Why is he competing with Cuba Gooding Jr. for movie roles?

Alvin and the Chipmunks is not yet rated but I’m assuming it’ll be rated G. And it opens on Christmas. (Official Site)

The fact that there are people in Hollywood still green lighting projects like Underdog is what makes me fear for the future of movies. I wish I could have been an observer of the thought process that went into this film. I imagine it went something like this:

Big Hollywood Executive: “Let’s see…we need to come up with the next big family-friendly movie…but let’s ignore the example of successful family film franchises like Harry Potter, Shrek, and the Pixar films and do something totally asinine. Let’s make a movie based off a moderately popular 1960’s cartoon, about a superhero dog, that very few people remember anymore. But it won’t be a cartoon; it’ll be live action! And instead of using an animated dog, we’ll computer animate a real dog so it looks like it’s flying and talking! Never mind that this dog looks nothing like the dog from the cartoon, the American public is obviously too stupid to notice. And instead of finding a voice actor who can recreate the voice of the original Underdog (because his voice is really the most memorable part of the cartoon), let’s get Jason Lee to do the voice in his usual smarmy way. It worked so well for his characters in the Kevin Smith movies, why wouldn’t it work here? Yes, of course Kevin Smith’s films are only for adults, so kids probably have no idea who Jason Lee is, but who cares? It’s a movie about a dog. Who flies! And talks! Why should I put any more thought into a movie that’s for children? Kids will watch anything! This project is a go! Now I’m going to play a round of golf, call me when it’s time for the wrap party.”

SKIP IT. Burn it. Put it in a sack and toss it in the river. Because as long as people are willing to spend money to see movies like this, Hollywood will continue to make them. And the future of family films deserves better than that.

Underdog is rated PG and opens August 3. (Official site)